Anthony Malloy

Q: And if disaster strikes? The age-old question — what happens if you forget the corkscrew?
A: There actually is a way to get the cork out of a bottle without pushing it through. Take the bottle, and remove the foil. Then start banging it gently on a carpeted floor. What you do is create pressure, and it may take you 20 minutes to do it, but you will get the cork halfway up, and then you can pull it the rest of the way. It’s a great trick.

Source : Business Week Online

But who can be bothered waiting 20 minutes to open a bottle of wine?

RFC membership card, 2005.

It’s the 21st of December,
Now they’re ringing the last bells.

Happy Gravy Day everyone.

Wow, I’m beginning to think I don’t really know Rae. Not only did she try to kill me on the weekend she is now demonstrating a previously unknown sadistic streak.

I mean, how else do you explain her leaving a can of ‘Ocean Platter’ cat food in front of the fish tank for two days. No wonder the fish is stressed,.

Rae is trying to kill me. I have explicit instructions to follow from the doctor and she is telling me I’m not allowed to. She’s even taken over the very thing that is supposed to make me better and won’t let me have it.

I went to the doctor to get a certificate ’cause I left work early yesterday. During the conversation he told me the way to get over this virus was to “sit in front of the cricket with a bike bottle of water and drink it”.

Rae has the telly on Blazing Saddles and is refusing to change it to the cricket so if I never get better and die it’s all going to be her fault.

Me, I just do what the doctor tells me.

You’ve all seen Duel? The Dennis Weaver must have felt ’cause I was chased home from work today by a house.

All the way along Dandenong Rd, up Kings Way and over the bridge all I could see was a house in the rear view mirror, no matter what I did there it was, bearing down on me. I gave it the slip at Melbourne Rd. It was last seen heading out of the city, no doubt looking for another victim.

Evil things those car hunting houses.

There’s nothing better than coming home to find a package sitting on your front doorstep. Even if it’s not for you. And even if after the person who it is for opens it you have no idea what it is.

The noodle place down the street from work doesn’t make good noodles. I won’t go back, even if they do have free internet while you wait.

I need a couple of groovy white t-shirts. Dorky white t-shirts will probably suffice and be more appropriate.

People recovering from heavy chest colds shouldn’t push themselves when mowing a lawn that could be used as a jungle set in the next Indiana Jones film.

I need a camera phone. Everyone else has one.

Everybody needs an iPod. They rock. Really, they do.

I didn’t wear my tie at work today. I was a casual rebel. Nobody noticed.

I miss my hockey, I want my football.

It’s 9:00pm and feel like going to bed. Night.

There was a movie on today.

It was called “Fifteen and Pregnant“.

I wonder what is was about.

We received our first Christmas present today, a new old chair.

Rae and I had been planning on getting our comfortable, yet tatty, old chair re-upholstered to match the new couch we scored recently. We went through a recommendation from Rae’s mum who, as a surprise early Christmas gift, intercepted the quote (the upholsterer is a friend of hers) and presented us with a brand new old chair.

’tis lovely to have a new matching lounge suite after a couple of years of borrowed couches and sponge bursting chairs. Of course we can’t give it the final thumbs up until Miss Marita spends an evening lounging in it and gives it her seal of approval.

The only four country and western songs worth listening to.

4 Joelene
3 Don’t Take Your Guns To Town
2 The Gambler
1 The Coward Of The County

Yet again I blame 3SR, the country radio station of my youth.