Anthony Malloy

After all these years wondering if I was the odd one out and the only person in the world with these feelings I find I am not alone. Oh the relief.

Jenny from Chalk I know exactly what you mean.

I too can not stand cotton wool – the thought of having to pick up a cotton wool ball makes me run screaming from the house like a little girl. Even typing the words puts my teeth on edge. I’m just hoping the twins are toilet trained by the time I take over their care, I don’t think that’s too much to ask at nine months old.

Oh god, I need a coffee to get over the thought of that evil white stuff.

Well the footy season is well and truly over me (Some would say it ended in May but that’s just being cruel. True, but cruel.) but that means it’s time to switch sports. My summer sport of choice begins today with the first pre-season game for my Vancouver Canucks. Yes, as the temperature heats up at least 90 of my afternoons will be spent listening to a game played on ice in often sub-zero temperatures.

New uniform, new season, new chance for the cup. Go ‘nucks!

If the earlier and earlier nights aren’t enough to prove we are old before our time then dinner tonight proves it once and for all. It’s not what we ate, it’s the time we ate it.

5.15pm.

If that doesn’t make us grandparents straight away then I don’t know what does.

PS – Can anyone point us to a guide on building a house in Victoria? Then again I’ve been hearing about this thing called Google and I might give that a try.

It’s sad enough when you dress twins alike, but when the kids are dressed like the parents that’s just a whole new level of daggy.

(And yes, I know I was wearing the same top on Friday night, but it’s new and I love it.)

Friday’s are always a long day for Bert, tonight he fell asleep on my lap.

I know marriages aren’t all plain sailing, that you have to work hard at them if you want them to succeed and that people change over time but I honestly never expected to face such a challenge to my vows this early in our life together.

It’s hard to write about but, and please don’t judge her for this, but this morning I found Rae making an instant coffee. Sure there were tears, explanations, excuses as you would expect and promises it would never happen again but I feel like I don’t know my wife any more. Riva instant. From a jar.

I know, I know. I did ask you not to judge.

I don’t know how long she has been hiding this little secret from me and I also know that I should be approaching her with compassion and love but I’m finding it very hard.

Instant. Of all the things.

I guess I’m going to have to put this behind, move on, but if I find out the bacon in our Sunday morning breakfast is fake then it just may be the end of the line.

Season 2007 finished yesterday with another almost win for my (once) mighty Tigers. Another wooden spoon to the collection and only a few rays of light for the years ahead. It’s tough being a Tiger supporter but I’ll be back next year, faithful fool that I am.

I only hope that by the time Bert and Kennedy really understand footy that their team will be a force to be reckoned with once more.

I can hope. Really, I can.

A sentence I would never have said before having kids.

“Albert, you have no pants on and there’s a tiger between your legs.”

I have my business mobile with Optus and I got a call from them tonight about transferring my internet to my business account. I thought I’d see what they could offer so I said sure, tell me what you can do. I gave my address and phone number and waited a minute or two only to be told that unfortunately “due to the wiring in my house [oh, come on….] Optus can’t offer internet access to that address”.

That’s a bit odd as our phone and internet access has been with Optus ever since we moved in 18 months ago. I pointed this out to the friendly phone guy who said “I don’t how that can be because the computer says no.”.

Seeing as how everyone else in the world is Simpsonizing themselves I did it too.

Bert wandered up and looked the final result.

“What’s that Bert?”
“Simpsons!”
“Who is it Bert?”
“Dada!”