Anthony Malloy

Two days since my right hand went missing and no sign of it so I’ve gone and got myself a new Palm m130 Handheld.

Normally a new Palm would be a source of great excitement, kill the fatted calf and bring on the dancing virgins, but not so today. $400+ is a lot to shell out because someone wanted to keep something that isn’t theirs.

I feel like someone has chopped off my right arm – I think I’ve lost my Palm. It’s got my whole life on it, luckily password protected, but it’s still my life and someone else is walking around with it. Now I’m going to have to get a new one and restore all the info, a very expensive inconvenience.

Whoever has picked it up can’t but help notice a stack of my business cards inside the cover, complete with my mobile number and email address. Bastard. You can’t recharge it, synchronise or update it without the cradle so I hope you enjoy it, whoever you are, but just remember that Karma applies to computers too.

Will someone please explain to me how I got a Vegemite smear on the back of my collar?

And thanks to the couple of hundred people who must’ve walked behind me today and didn’t let me know.

I bought a new tie.

So, it’s Phee’s birthday tomorrow. She’s turning 7 and like any 6 year and 364 day year old she’s pretty bloody excited. So much so that long before sunrise this morning I was woken to the sound of Phee telling all of her stuffed toys (a whole top bunk full) that someone’s birthday was coming up very soon. For such a little girl she has such a loud voice.

“Phoebe” I say.

Quiet. Then it begins again, a loud whisper that rises in volume.

“Phoebe” I grump again.

Quiet. Then a softer loud whisper before the only force that can stop a little girl in its tracks kicks in.

Her mother. “Phoebe be quiet!”.

Phoebe’s all over Melbourne suddenly fell silent.

And then the cat began to meow.

Happy birthday Nigel. Hope the good citizens of Audiville treat you with the respect due an old(er) man.

Today was Labour Day holiday here in Victoria, a day where to give thanks for not having to work all night in the salt mines you stay at home and work on your PC instead. Well, not for all of the day.

Today we all accidentally went to Moomba.

I guess that needs two bits of explanation.

First of all Moomba. It’s a festival held here in Melbourne dating back to the fifties. The name, of Koori origin, was always thought to mean “Let’s get together and have fun.” A few years ago it was revealed it actually meant ‘backside’, but a little name calling never stopped we Melbournians from enjoying ourselves.

It’s a mere shadow of its former self when crowds would be lining Swanston St ten deep for the festivals crowning glory – the Moomba parade. Scores of floats would drift majestically down the gentle slope of our major street, punctuated by marching bands and street performers. Each year the competition would be between the old Gas and Fuel Corporation and Myer’s to see who could come up with the gaudiest, most outlandish float. I’d watch each year on the television, Channel 7 from memory, thinking how lucky those people in the city were being able to see the guy on stilts ducking the tram lines overhead and the glamorous television personalities waving from the back of a flat bed truck covered in crepe paper. It was all sophistication plus for this lad from Shepparton.

This morning the Shepparton lad and his new family decided to wander in to the city and take a photo of the MCG while it was missing a grandstand. If you stand on the corner of Exhibition and Flinders St you get the most wonderful view of the Great Southern Stand and I wanted a picture of it before the new northern stand robs me of the chance.

We got halfway there when we noticed a parade was starting. But not just any parade, it was the 2003 Moomba parade! So, at the ripe old age of 32 I got to see my first Moomba procession. I waited for the crepe paper and the lumbering mountain of papier-mache, mirrors and scantily clad glamour gals that was the Myer float but it never came. Instead we had bands, dancers, community groups, volunteers and a token stilt walker. The crowds were only two or so deep, there were no other floats and no television personalities on clapped out tracks but still, it was Moomba and I was there.

I never did get to take my picture of the ‘G but an accidental Moomba and the wonderful Ned Kelly exhibition at the State Library of Victoria was almost as good. Now if only they’d have a chat to Myer I might go again some time.

Donkey Kong has gone for the ridiculous price of $67. You can check its bid history too; that extra dollar in the last minute is great after it had sat on $66 for three days.

Now here’s the kicker – we originally bought it for $5 from a street stall.

Not a bad return on that little investment.

Auction fever has hit its first peak. Singin’ In The Rain has just gone for the princely sum of $19.50. You can even see how the bidders bid. Sneaky tactic that 1 cent thing.

Anyway, we’re very happy ’cause it’s double what we hoped for and we now have half the remote control for the new television. Just half a remote and one whole telly to go.

Okay, I’m at work and it’s at work you look for the little things to amuse you and get you through.

I just got to register the domain name : pullyourfingerout.com (nothing there yet).

As I said, small things.