2 Replies to “Out Of The Mouths Of Babes”

  1. Hey, Tony, I reckon I’ve written the next British Fosters commercial. OK, I know you hate the stuff, but the ads are out of this world. here’s the script… can you or your readers adapt it to put a bit of your Aussie slang in there, so I can send it to the agency and make a mint? Cheers.

    The last resort

    [An Australian bedroom; a doctor, nurse and man are gathered round the marital bed, in which the man?s heavily pregnant wife is on a drip and quite obviously suffering]

    Doctor: Mr Malloy, your wife is very ill. She has dehydration, dangerously raised protein levels and extremely high blood pressure. The blood supply to the baby could be seriously disrupted. Now, I believe you?ve booked yourself a bit of a holiday on Saturday. Well, I?m afraid there?s no way she can go away in this state, particularly as she will need round-the-clock care.
    Me: Oh my God, that?s awful, but I understand completely. Under the circumstances, two weeks at home is absolutely the best thing. I?ll make the necessary arrangements straight away. [picking up phone] Hello, is that the Yelloh Holiday Resort? Yes, we?re booked in for Saturday. I?m afraid that my wife is very ill? What?s that? Cancel? Hell, no. I want to upgrade from self-catering to all-incusive. Thanks.

    Payoff: Think Australian, drink Australian?

  2. I’m sorry , but I can’t stop laughing. My husband always says to my daughters, “Do you remeber you used to tell me –I would like to get married with you–“. NOW he is just a “DASAI”(it is Japanese),– dowdy? (sorry, I don’t know the suitable word, what word is the best?) man.

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