We had ‘guests’ on the weekend. Rae and I love having company, sharing our house with family and friends – it’s one of the reasons we were so happy getting this new place as it has great areas for hosting people.
A girlfriend of Rae’s and her fianc? came to stay on Saturday morning. They left Sunday morning. It was the most stressful weekend we have had together and indirectly lead to a huge blow up on the Sunday night.
The key to being a good guest is kindness and consideration. These are things they need to learn :
Don’t threaten to kill, maim, hurt or strap to the fan your host’s much loved cat from the minute you walk in the door to the minute you leave.
Have more than one topic of conversation, especially if that topic of conversation is solely about how much you like shooting things
Wash you hands after going to the toilet.
At least offer to wash the dishes. (After washing your hands)
At least offer to help with meals, even if it’s just an offer to set the table. A good host will never let you anyway.
At least offer to contribute toward providing lunch, dinner or breakfast. Especially when without the host you are paying for a hotel room in a capital city.
Don’t ask the host to pay for lunch on his credit card ‘because you can claim it as a business expense’. (Hint – the tax laws changed almost 10 years ago so you can’t do this now) Don’t do this twice.
Don’t make veiled hints that you want to sleep in the host’s bed rather than the blow up mattress they purchased that day for you. If you don’t ask, you will probably get. Don’t do this three times.
Don’t insult the host because he has real coffee, not instant. Don’t do this twice.
Don’t take control of the host’s television and insist on watching rugby when (a) the host hates rugby and (b) they have a 6 year old who wants to watch cartoons.
Don’t watch wrestling. End of story.
Don’t drink all but one of your host’s beer while they are out and then not at least offer to replace it.
Don’t antagonise your host because your team happened to beat his in the football. Don’t keep this up until you leave and don’t ask the host’s daughter to put on your football beanie and then go and tease her dad. Learn sportsmanship.
Don’t pretend to know more about your host’s job than he does. Especially when you change jobs every second week and he has a skill.
Don’t try and create trouble with the host’s next door neighbour just because you happened to be told of one annoying incident with them.
Don’t pretend to know the best ice-cream shop in your host’s area when you’ve never been there before.
Don’t ask for the host’s washing machine.
Don’t pretend you know everything. The creator of the Simpsons did not create King of The Hill.
Don’t insult your host’s DVD collection.
And, finally, say thankyou when you leave.
Rae is meant to be a bridesmaid for the the lady guest but is now considering her options.