And now, this from a special guest blogger, The Mysterious ‘N’.
When taking your 2 year old child to Buddy’s soft-play area, don’t leave the main play hall intent on finding the football results. What will happen is that you will notice the TV is tuned to the bloody rugby. So you will happen to notice a hi-fi sitting just outside the main play hall door. Thinking this is not being used, you will switch it from CD to Tuner and start fiddling.
Having located the right station, you will then be annoyed to find that you can’t hear it. You will then begin to turn up the volume until you reach maximum.
What will then happen is that among the many small children in the play hall, the lucky ones will die, while the rest will bleed profusely from the ears and the others will be permanently plagued by toxic-shock syndrome.
You will then realise that the hi-fi you’ve been fiddling with is the main PA for the 5000-sq-m play hall.