Somewhere in Shepparton there’s a woman who thinks I’m an a) failed terrorist or b) oversexed deviant.
It all started because my sister had a baby on Thursday. Being that Rae is still on maternity leave she headed up on that day and being that I am still at work I said I’d catch the train up on Friday night to join them.
We bordered the train and Crazy Lady demanded her seat be turned around. The very patient conductor acquiesced but as soon as the train started moving she realised she was now facing in the wrong direction and swapped seats. It was then she started staring at me.
I had my laptop with me and was catching up on some television (first season Battlestar Galactica) but noticed she wouldn’t stop staring. I tried to ignore her but once you notice someone is staring at you it’s hard not to be distracted. She kept it up all the way to Shepp – two hours of me watching television and her trying not to look obvious. Finally we got to Shepp and I made my escape.
Fast forward to this morning and I went to brush my teeth. I pressed the on button, nothing happened. Shake shake shake, press. Hmmm. Still nothing. Then it dawned on me; the toothbrush that had been sitting in the front pocket of my backpack must have turned itself on when i dropped it to the floor. I had my headphones on all of the way so I wouldn’t have heard it but Crazy Lady was looking at an unkempt man playing with a laptop who had a buzzing backpack at his feet.
As I said, she probably spent most of the trip trying figure out if I was a rural terrorist or a man with an embarrassing secret. Even I don’t know the answer to that one.