It’s Phee’s birthday tomorrow and I’m not coping that well. She’s turning 8, and had been so excited that her birthday is coming up. She’s stopped being excited now though because of us, Rae and I, and it’s hard to take.

We’ve cancelled her birthday party this year because of her atrocious behaviour, and I mean atrocious. Two weeks ago it seemed like a good idea but now, with her birthday tomorrow, we feel terrible. There’ll be no kids running around, no extra presents. Just a flat Saturday afternoon and, knowing Phee, nothing will be learnt.

It’s tough at the moment. Phee is 8 going on 15. Everything is an argument, she knows better than us with everything, doesn’t do things we ask “because I didn’t want to”, she answers back to us and her grandparents, expects everything and will do nothing. I know she’s only 8 but there is absolutely no concept of respect. It’s not fair on Phee that she’s not having an 8th birthday party, but it’s nor fair on Rae that she comes home in tears because she can’t cope with Phee being smart and feeling like she has failed in her role as a mother when it comes to bringing Phee up ‘properly’. The other night Phee laughed when I was telling her how disappointed I was after she had yelled at her mum (again) but she then burst in to tears when I told her her punishment was the cat couldn’t sleep in her room that night.

I’m rambling now, I know, but we are at a dead end. Nothing seems to be working, we’re feeling bad for what we feel we have to do and we can’t see an end in sight.

So think of Phee tomorrow with no party and think of us feeling the pain of on 8 year old girl who probably doesn’t understand why.

3 Replies to “Pain”

  1. She’s definitely testing the boundaries at the moment Tony and trying your patience on different levels – some kids don’t even know when they’re doing it, believe it or not. All I can say is don’t be disheartened. I think you and Rae are terrific people and it will rub off on Phee eventually. You’re teaching her that there are things such as consequences and that not all of them are good. You’re doing a great job!

  2. Hi Tony
    As I have left a comment on Rae’s website you guys arent doing anything wrong, conscious you may have yes but please know they ALL go thru this phase, *I have an 8 year old* thats doing the same thing, all you have to do is be consistent with her she will come to respect that in the long run, its easier said than done but Im living it too here so just be patient, tolerant and do not sway she will eventually learn and understand.

    You guys are great parents just remember that!

  3. man it sounds like she is hitting the teens early. maybe though it will mean that she won’t be as teenagery when she actually hits those numbers.
    it sounds like the anitcat punishment would have killed me though!

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